Black: There is Nothing Left
by Jupiter Light
Summary: ROMY: Fate always has away of bringing people back sometimes from the dead, for better or worse decisions have to be made, scars will be marked, tears will fall...but is it all worth it in the end? Mature themes and content- short story
1. Chapter 1

**_PartII -Dedicated To A Friend...._**

**Black: There is nothing left…**

**Chapter 1: **And it Starts Part I

"I Think I messed up…"

Polaris also as Lorna Dane was a visiting guest at the Xavier School she went to see her brother Pietro. Polaris tried to express her reasons of worry to Kurt and Storm at the breakfast table.

"I really hit a nerve with Rogue last night." She said in a low tone fiddling with her morning tea.

Establishing a bond with Rogue was important to Lorna, Rogue and Pietro had been dating for the better half of two years and it was getting serious. Pietro and Rogue were an unexpected pair and that's why it worked. There was never any judgment between the two only an understanding that people could change.

"What happened Lorna?" Kurt asked in a concerned tone. He wanted to help Lorna as much as he could. It wasn't long ago when he was standing in her shoes, meeting his sister Rogue for the first time.

"Well I suggested that we go out for a girl's night so we went to dinner and I said we should go to this cute bar I saw on my way into town. Then her mood dropped and only continued to get worse after we were inside, she wouldn't drink anything, she was barley dancing it was just a mess…" Taking a much needed breath after fast talking, Lorna pouted her face at Rogue's negative behavior.

Kurt was about to intervene when Lorna continued "Then I asked her about the scar she had on back of her neck… she totally few off the handle and left me there with no car. I was trying ok? She didn't have to be so rude."

Lorna searched for pity but there was none. Storm and Kurt looked at each other with uneasy faces. "What exactly did your brother tell you about Rogue?" Kurt cleared his throat unconsciously.

"Nothing, we hadn't had much time to talk you know that? He went on a mission as soon as I got here."

"Yeah…" Kurt looked to Storm for what he hoped to be was going to be back up. Storm shook her head instead she was having no part in where Kurt was going.

"There are a few things you don't know about Rogue and your brother…"

"Yeah…" Lorna rubbed her cup nervously. "This is about before Rogue was an X-man?"

"When she was on the other side she was in a fight, which she did not win and the scares are from that. She doesn't like talking about it." Kurt gave the best coles notes short version he could without opening up anymore questions.

"Is that why she wears gloves even though she doesn't have too?"

What Lorna asked was a big question it made Storm choke on her coffee. She shook her head frantically at the dumbfounded Kurt warning him not to continue.

"Finish the story Kurt…." A voice laced with a delicate southern accent dared Kurt to carry on.

"Go on you were doing such a good job?" Rogue was in the kitchen and heard the whole discussion. From her sharp attitude and sarcastic voice it was clear that she was not impressed by what she heard.

Rogue took a seat directly in front of Lorna and stretched out her hands to remove her gloves slowly. Her hands were filled with scares that ranged a half inch to an inch. Unable to stomach the scars Lorna looked away when she was shown them. She did hit a nerve and from Kurt and Storms expression it was a big one.

"I got these scares when I was working for Sinister; and in return I had to do some jobs on his behalf. Then one day sinister didn't play fair shocking I know." Rogue put her hair in a high ponytail and turned so Lorna could get a good view of the back of her neck. "He held a knife at my neck but I was able to slip out with help from….this guy." Storm bowed her head at the memory. "He got the back of my neck when I escaped his grip."

"The lab started to go array and everything was moving very quickly. I found myself holding my mother in one hand and my…this guy in the other. They both were slipping and I knew that I wasn't going to be able to save them both. My mother was stunned and clawed at my hand while his grip and nails dug into my other one." Rogue ran her fingers over the scares as if they were brail, they were telling the story for her.

"The building was falling apart and time was running out, his grip was getting looser and I thought he was…." She found herself getting caught up in the emotions of that night pulling all her feelings in struggling to keep it together. "…I let go of his hand to save myself and my mother."

Rogue stood up and put back on her gloves "I wear these because I don't want to explain my life story to every Tom, Dick, and Harry that comes along…next time Polaris ask me why I won't do or go to certain places instead of labeling me a bitch."

Strom left the table the same time Rogue did; she could never stomach that story no matter how many times she heard.

Kurt stayed behind to make sure that Lorna was ok. "Don't take it personally; it's still a heeling wound for her." He then got up to leave when Lorna reached for his hand.

"The drinking Kurt?" Her eyes were filled with regret from listening to Rogue's story. "Please, I don't want to make the same mistake twice."

"That came after, to repress the memories…you should ask your brother about the rest." He disappeared out of the kitchen with a gust of blue smoke.

Rogue walked the halls the main hall trying clear her thought, the memories came washing back:

As the building came down the X-Men oddly in alliance with the Brotherhood fought off the last of Sinister's men while Rogue was facing her life altering decision of whom to let go of.

Pietro saw Rogue struggling in the distance to stand after she chose Mystique. While Rogue was focused on supporting her mother, Pietro noticed the roof above them was coming down and at the rate Rogue was moving she wasn't going to make it out safety. Using his mutant ability of speed he raced over and grabbed Rogue and her mother before the roof fell in.

Rogue went into a depression after choosing her mother over him. She started drinking and doing cheep hits in an attempt to numb the pain of that day. But no matter what Pietro was there for Rogue to lean on. Rogue was getting worse and staying with the Brotherhood wasn't helping her. Going behind the backs of his brotherhood team Pietro found her the help she needed with the X-Men. Once Rogue left the Brotherhood Pietro made it two blocks; before turning around to join the X- team with her. He's been at her side ever since.

Rogue had been sober for ten months and fifteen days. Having to work hard constantly to keep herself from slipping in to vague place Rogue found support in the team around her. And as she gained more strength they gained more faith in her, it wasn't long before she had family again.

"You ok?" Storm asked when she caught up with Rogue in the Rec room. Rogue took a deep breath and rubbed her bottom lip. It was one of her ways of letting Storm know that she wasn't ok that second, but was going to be.

"I think I'm going to take a hot shower." Rogue mustered up the strength to smile at Storm before heading up stairs to her room. It was days like that she wished he had a cold drink in her hand.

Storm watched Rogue take a defeated walk to her room. Times when Rogue wasn't responding to anyone Logan would always get threw to her and became a watchful big brother type figure. Storm was heading to find Logan and encourage him to have a talk with Rogue later that night to make sure she wasn't thinking about falling off the wagon.

Exiting the Rec room Storm noticed a deck of cards was spilt all over the floor she went to picked them up with a heavy heart, when a steady yet persistent knock at the front door snapped Storm out of her thoughts, it was ten in morning and no one was expecting a guest…

* * *

The hot water running down Rogue's back massaged her tense muscles. The steam quickly filled the room clearing her thoughts and reenergized her skin.

Stepping out of the tub she stood in the middle of her foggy washroom and fought the urge to open the bottom cupboard instead she wiped her mirror with her hand Rogue took notice to her body. It was a work of art really, her hourglass figure was astonishing it had woman everywhere jealous. Her bust was a healthy D cup which only heightened her narrow waist and smooth lower curves. Rogue was a tall woman standing at five feet eight inches with auburn hair that reached her mid back and her signature white bangs that fell into her face.

However being a work of art came with a price, she had scars on her fore arm and hands a huge one on her neck and a bitter one on her forehead. They weren't dominating but they felt that way for Rogue maybe it was memories associated with them or the guilt she felt when she touched them. Either way she rarely showed off her skin, always covering herself up to some degree.

Opening her washroom door the steam escaped into the blackness of her room. As Rogue stepped out of the washroom for the first time in months she felt like someone was watching her. There was only one person that ever gave her that feeling and she killed him.

Rogue went for the lights thinking it was her subconscious toying with her senses again like when she was drinking. Rogue was bone dry, she hadn't laid eyes on a bottle of liquor in months. Her hand rested on the switch and she closed her eyes remembering Storm's breathing exercises. Each breath was deeper then the last, bracing her weight against the wall she hoped for nothing but prepared for the unimaginable as her heart echoed in her ears and her hands trembled at the thought….

Click. The lights went on.

It only confirmed her deepest fears. There he was sitting on Rogue's desk running a card around his fingers. He was an illusion she told herself but the way he smiled made Rogue wobble in the knees. He was real his blissful aroma brought back all the good memories they shared and for a brief second Rogue forgot about all the stress in her life. He looked just like the way Rogue imagined he would accept a bit wiser. His hair was shorter coming to his ears and his body, if possible, seemed more defined. But his eyes are what trapped Rogue mesmerizing her all over again. They were the gateway to sin that Rogue always fell into. From the way his eyes were burning brightly at Rogue's towel form they were after one thing.

"I've missed you Cher."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: **It's a dream

Rogue got the pleasure of feeling Remy's warm breath touch the tip of her lips before Kurt and Storm rushed in separating the two and killing the precious moment. Rogue couldn't remember much after that. She woke up in her bed with her boyfriend rubbing her hand.

Her eyes were heavy to open, but slowly she managed to creep them wider an inch at a time. Her emerald eyes found a loving pair of sky blue eyes and sliver hair on a well structured face.

"Hey…" His pair of soft lips touched her hand. "I came back as soon as I heard."

Pietro's warm eyes smiled at Rogue. Even though Rogue's eyes were weary; Peter didn't have to be a genius to know that his face wasn't the one Rogue was hoping for.

Struggling to sit up the memories flooded back all at once. Memories from their earlier years together to his sudden comeback and everything in between, Rogue mind couldn't handle the overload twice in one setting. She convinced herself that all she needed was to get out of that room, it was hunting her.

Rogue suddenly felt suffocated in her thin sheets. She needed to get up and find some fresh air, but no matter where or how much she turned she found herself confined to the bed. Her body was still shaking as Pietro reached for her and trying to bring her closer to him. "Rogue its ok! Its ok clam down…I'm here." It wasn't clicking in Rogue's head, she still fought against him, hitting him in chest and face while flopped around in the bed.

"Rogue, relax your ok." Pietro pinned her down in the bed by her arms. "Rogue!" He yelled. The demanding tone finally brought her to her senses. Rogue's chest inflated and deflated as fast as humanly possible. "Please Rogue your scaring me…."

Pietro's eyes were lined with terror as he watched over Rogue. She wasn't herself.

Pietro could feel her pulse from her wrist that he held Rogue by. The panic in her eyes, he only ever saw when she was coming off a binge. "You have to calm down." He slowly slid off her, reaching for the water on the side table. "Drink some."

Rogue hands shook so much as she took the water by time the glass made it to her lips its was half empty. Unable to hold the glass Rogue sucked on the glass like a toddler in between her harsh breaths. Pietro already had the tissue in hand and started to wipe her mouth as he removed the glass from her unsteady hands. He had lots of practice taking care of Rogue from her unstable days, her sudden panic attack wasn't new for him.

Pietro held onto Rogue's hands trying to get her imitate his clam behavior its how he used to get her to relax after a nightmare. "It's not a dream this time…" He spoke slowly to her as if she was small child. "I don't know how but it's being looked at…" He felt her grip tighten. "What ever it is you have to understand this isn't your fault." Pietro kissed Rogue on the forehead. It was important that he talked to her in a cool tone. It helped steady Rogue's racing heart and mind until proper thoughts came back to her mind.

"Where…Where-" Rogue placed her hand on her chest trying to compose a proper sentence.

"He's downstairs in the Med Bay being checked out. I will follow you there if you need me too…"

"No, No…." She waved her hands, at the thought "I…Don't need too…" Pietro agreed by nodding but something was off; her green eyes had dimmed they were blacker, colder. Horrible thoughts crossed Pietro's mind but he wouldn't let those thoughts dictate what was happening in the now. For the moment Rogue was decisive in what she wanted and she didn't shut down this time which was a major step in the right direction.

"I just need some rest…"

"You want…"

"No I'll be fine I'm going right to sleep…" Rogue reassured him.

"Ok" Peter kissed her lips quickly then left her to sleep. Even as he closed the door behind him he hated the idea of leaving Rogue alone. Nothing good could come of it. Right then he wished he didn't tell his sister Lorna to leave for upsetting Rogue; he could use some friendly support.

* * *

Hank left Remy alone to rest in hospital like room. There was quite a social gathering taking place outside the Med Bay doors, he figured it was time to explain what he had found to the rest of the team.

Storm swiped into the room as Hanks was leaving. "Storm…"

"You will not stop me Hank." She told him as she walked past him. Hank knew better then to disturb the weather goddess when she was on a mission. He exited the room letting them have a minute.

Storm waited until Hank was out of sight before she moved. Soon as she heard the seal of the sliding door, Storm ran and hugged Remy in the bed she then collapsed on him basically laying on top of him and resting her head on Remy's well crafted chest.

"Remy LeBeau not even death can stop you…I believe you now." Storm looked up into Remy's hansom face. He stared back at her with that same wolfish grin he was famous for.

Remy cupped her face to get a better look at the goddess in front of him. Storm's birth name was Ororo Monroe, she had deep ocean blue eyes and a short white pixy cut that showed off amazing cheek bones. Remy remembered her hair to be much longer but he also remembered stealing cars with her too.

"Take it you missed me?" Remy chuckled. Storms face tensed and brows narrowed when she slapped him in the face at this insensitive joke.

"Don't even joke …." Storm sat up in his lap "Everyday…." Remy bought their foreheads together. He saw that she was sincere in her words, he remembered that faithful day too and their history prior to that he could only imagine what she went threw thinking that he was dead.

Storm didn't bother to ask the why or how's with Remy, she knew he wasn't going to give anything up until he was ready. If he was ready he would have said something or at lest hinted at something.

"I thought of you too Ororo." It was the fist time in eight years of knowing each other that Remy called Storm by her real name. She leaned in and kissed him fully on the lips.

"What was that for?" Remy asked.

"Just making sure you're real. I know you are not mine." She smiled and laid back down on his chest. Their bodies were both lean and tall almost matching in height. Remy ran his hand up and down her lower half. He missed having her with him.

Remy and Ororo were friends when Ororo was thieving and running with a whole different kind of crowd. They met up when they both tried to steal the same convertible. Looking back on it they laugh but at the time both Ororo and Remy were dead serious as they fought over the car. They worked as a pair for a brief moment in time until Ororo traded sides and went to the X-Men. However far they were Remy and Ororo keep in touch vowing to come to the aid of each other when ever they were in need.

"What kind of car are you driving these days?"

Remy laughed and Storm joined in laughing in his arms she was tearing up from hearing his joyful laugh Storm never thought she would get that pleasure again. Storm didn't let Remy see her tears of joy. Their laughs echoed the room and soon the hall. The day didn't seem as grim anymore.

Coming down from their high there was that peaceful silence where just for that split second life seemed perfect. They reminisced about the good old days and soon Storm drifted off into a warm slumber in Remy's arms.

Shifting Storm to the side and pulling the blanket over top of her Remy sneaked out of the Med Bay. It wasn't hard the postman they had a Remy's door had to be a freshmen, he had fallen asleep on duty. The whole security system in the mansion was weak at best, in total it took Remy two minutes and eleven seconds to not only get upstairs pass the men on rounds but locate Rogue's room too.

Remy had his hand on the door when it opened from the other side. Rogue got up to get some water because she was unable to sleep for so she told herself.

She made it to her door frame before Remy's eyes of sinful back and lustful red sucked her in. "You didn't come see me all day…" Remy started off he wasn't sure how she was going to react to seeing him after their last encounter.

Rogue bowed her head in submission to his velvet voice. Using his index finger to lift her chin Remy brought Rogue's eyes to his. Not in control of her body Rogue's hand reached for his collar and dragged him into her room closing the door behind them.

Rogue sat on her single bed fiddling around with her sheets as Remy leaned against the wall watching her. Their actions were the same, Rogue would feel him looking at her even in the dark and inch her eyes up to his only to look away in fear. She was broken when it came to Remy. Rogue didn't know how to start the conversation and Remy seemed perfectly content with just being in Rogue's presence. She continued to fiddle around this time with the ends of hair. She couldn't stand Remy being there anymore her mouth tasted like ashes as the guilt ate at her. Rogue hadn't felt that bad since the day she let go of his hand.

Remy coughed and Rogue looked up still toying with her hair ends. His cough turned into a light chuckle, then a deeper one and finally in to a hardly laugh. "Two years later and you still play with the ends of your hair when you're scared?"

He walked over to the edge of the bed and stood above her. "Why do you fear me?" Rogue managed to hold it together until Remy asked that question. It wasn't that she was afraid of him, it was what he represented. Looking at him all she saw was the darkness within herself that she never knew existed.

"Is it the eyes?" Remy leaned toward her lips and planted a soft kiss on her lips. Even though simple it was filled with more passion then one they've ever shared. The tears danced down Rogue's cheek Remy could feel them against his own. Feeling responsible Remy pulled back on their kiss using his fingers to wipe them away from her face. "I hate it when you cry."

The mixture of his scent and his skin intoxicated Rogue making her body tremble. With each touch her body slowly collapsed falling backwards onto the bed. She couldn't stop crying so Remy brought her up into his arms and cradled her, like he used too, like he would have been doing if he was there. They didn't speak or barley made any eye contact with each other and yet it was one of the greatest days of Remy's life. After months of searching and retracing his steps he found her, the only women that ever mattered.

It could have been two in the morning or closer to sunrise none of them knew. They were in a place that had no time where nothing else mattered besides them.

"I…" Rogue tried to speak again but the bitter taste made her stomach turn. "I…thought it was all a dream Remy…" She stuttered on saying his name aloud. "I wished it was all a dream." Remy brushed back her hair to see the green eyes he often dreamed of. They were so cold when Remy saw them. It tore at him to know that he wasn't there when she needed him the most. "A horrible dream…"

"It wasn't…"

"Wasn't it?" Rogue sat up straight still weeping; she wiped the tears that ran down her face. "Isn't it? You're sitting here next to me…After" She put her hand over her mouth she felt her stomach bubble at the thought. "You were slipping…" She avoided his eyes "I killed you Remy…I let go of you." Her toes and fingers both went dumb.

"No…." Remy reached for her cheek but she rejected him.

"No?!" She backed off him completely.

"Yes Remy I did, I watched you fall…and fall you kept going and going." Rogue wrapped her hand around her throat and closed her eyes. Even with her eyes closed the tears came.

"I went back after I found out what happened… we went back….a lot of people went back." She took a few deep breaths. "I couldn't except that I lost you."

"And you didn't" Remy reached for her hand, carefully removing her glove one finger at a time. In a soothing voice he whispered while locked onto her eyes "You never should have to make a decision like that…."

She raised her head to speak. But Remy put a finger to her lips "Shhh…." It was hard for Remy to say and it took him a minute "I never blamed you for your choice and I never will…." Rogue's glove was completely off and Remy messaged her fingers and palm "I'm sorry that I left you with the all this pain…" He looked at the scars and kissed the biggest scar, then the one next to it and the one after that…

He worked his way up her arm landing at her neck. Rogue went in as Remy was about to kiss her "How did you survive?" Remy rotated his head a few inches to get a better view of her beautiful face.

"I don't know…" For some reason hearing that made Rogue tear up again. "I woke up in a hospital and all that was on my mind was you…." He stroked her cheek and laid soft kisses on her cheek and the jaw and lastly her lips. He placed a warm fragile kiss on her lips gentle to start; each one that followed was just as careful and persisted but outlasted the one before it.

Remy's body eased into Rogue's and she found herself falling in to his touch more and more. It was a blend of things she was feeling that made her body melt, his warm body that covered hers too his strong hands that explored the lost territory of her bountiful body. Either way the result was lust. So when Rogue's hand started to roam up his pants and undid his buckle she was doing only what felt natural, it was what was meant to be.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: **Remember them

Rogue laid in the bed. Where she was still, barley moving, she lay on her side with her arm coving her breast and the sheets lightly draped over her naked hips. Rogue hadn't moved since Remy and her had been intimate and he left his scar on her again. Waking up alone made the whole night feel even more like a dream. 'Was he really here with me or did I make it up again…' It was the only thought she had and it plagued her mind for three days. Rogue didn't leave her bed for three whole days never putting on clothes, never eating and ignoring all calls. She was slipping again losing her touch with her sense of time and reality. Every time she closed her eyes even just to blink one of two images would come to mind. Remy's smiling face as he plummeted down the abyss or Remy's eyes as his brought her to a bittersweet finish.

Their night together was tainted. Rogue couldn't hold back the tears; some were out of sweet pleasure while others fell out of guilt and heartache. Part of Rogue felt that's she was unworthy of the privilege of having Remy in her bed again. Then there was that small part of her mind that was control her physical actions. It made her feel as if she didn't claim Remy then she would cross the thin line of sanity. Feeling him on her in her was the only way Rogue was sure that Remy was real. It was the main reason why she didn't get out of bed she was too afraid that the memory of their night together would fade. The sheets smelled like him and the tighter she held on to them the more it simulated the same warmth Remy gave her. Who would want that to end?

It needed to end Rogue needed to stand on her own two feet. Ten months of beings sober was at risk if she couldn't get a hold of herself. Remy wasn't just her friend or once lover he was her drug. Rogue would crave him when he was gone and after his 'death' it destroyed her physically and disturbed her mentally. It was happening again she was not able to make her own decision, there wasn't a doubt that Rogue was heading down that path again now that Remy was back.

Her remorse was holding them back from connecting like they once did. Her fellow teammates were taking notice as well as her boyfriend. He had the pleasure of seeing the after math for himself. Pietro went to check on Rogue in the morning. The sharing of beds was strictly prohibited unless married it was an unbreakable rule in the Xavier house. When Pietro went to what he thought was Rogue's aid he found her there naked and lifeless in her bed. Not responding to his voice or making any sense Pietro knew it was thanks to Remy he didn't have to ask, he knew which sins were committed in that bed.

He didn't tell anyone what state Rogue was in for the first night. Pietro wanted to handle it himself but when there wasn't any change he confessed to the others that were closest to Rogue. He sat in the Professor's office with Storm, Logan and Kurt. The Professor gave them strict instructions. That Rogue would be left alone and in two days if she didn't emerge from her room by herself then she would be removed by force. They did it once before and it wasn't what everyone wanted to hear but they accepted it. Two days came and went and Rogue remained in her room naked and untouched.

Nobody had made a move on the third day so Logan was on the hunt. He was going to take her out of there kicking and screaming if he had to. He refused to watch all the work Rogue put into getting better be flushed down the drain.

Knock, Knock. His gruff pounding upon her door could be heard down the hall. "Rogue I know you're in there open the door you have ten seconds or I'm coming in!"

"Not now Logan."

"Seven." Logan was continued to countdown.

"Don't come in!" Rogue yelled and crowd of teammates made there way to her door.

"Three, I'm not fucking around!"

"Logan!" Storm called out coming up the stairs "This is not how to address the situation!" Her words were ignored and in a swift kick Logan kicked the door in.

Surrounding the door was half the staff and a dozen students, the door dropped off its hinges revealing Rogue. She stood in the middle of room with a lifeless gaze to her. In her hand she held her bra already wearing the matching panties. Rogue had just come out of the shower she figured the Professor would try the same ticktack he did when she first had an episode. This meant she needed to show some sign of life within a few days. A shower was a good way of showing that; also it was hygienic which she needed.

"I was getting dressed." Rogue spoke in a monotone voice turning around to the crowd. Her long hair covered her breast completely, not that it mattered from her reaction. It didn't look like Rogue noticed the crowd or the fact she was exposing herself to her teammates. "Thanks for breaking down my door…." She cocked her head at Pietro's hurt face like she was blaming him for Logan's actions. "…Again that is Logan." She walked to her adjoining washroom and closed the door behind her.

"That went well…" Storm eyed Logan who was as close to embarrassment as he could get.

Remy had been interviewed by the Professor for the third time he was with the Professor for several hours each day trying to piece together what had happened. Remy didn't agree with telepathic help therefore the Professor and Hank combined their theories and tried to assist Remy with new hurtles. Rogue did her best to stay away from Remy. He didn't have a following but people had a lot of questions and there was always someone wanting answers. Unable to stay inside with the illusion of Remy, Rogue went out for a walk. No one noticed that she was missing and she found herself at the edge of property overlooking the cliff.

Pietro worried about Rogue and went searching for her. He spotted Rogue by the cliff watching the lake she seemed so peaceful in her thoughts. They needed to talk and avoiding the topic of Remy was starting to be a thorn in his side.

Rogue stood by the cliff in a long sweater and baggy pants, it was breezy day. The wind howled in every direction and the sky grayed over in warning that a storm was coming. Rogue loved being out in the rain the cold water clashing with her hot skin always felt soothing to her.

"Pietro…" Rogue caught him off guard he was behind her and Rogue could sense him behind her "I know your there." Rogue didn't turn to him but continued to look forward speaking with a slight more emotion then she did that morning.

"Rogue I won't walk away until I know your ok." Pietro put his hands into his pockets and looked out at the water along side her. "You don't have to say it I already know what happened…"

As much as Pietro wanted to scream at her for turning to Remy instead of himself, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He knew what the risk of setting her off was and he wasn't going to hurt her after he helped piece her together again.

"Nothing…" Pietro shocked turned to her with an inquisitive look Rogue was officially slipping "Nothing happened something could have but it didn't."

Rogue was lying but she felt it was necessary hurting more people wasn't an option right then nor was losing Pietro, he was her rock for the pass few years and she needed his comfort. Remy wasn't clicking with her because Rogue wasn't allowing it she didn't want it to so deep down she convinced herself that she didn't do anything with Remy.

"You can't expect me to believe that?"

"I do, I expect you to believe me why would I lie to you?" She touched his cheek. Rogue was playing all the right cards with Pietro she learned at lot being with him in the last two years. He was only a toy for her to play with. "I believe in us…" Rogue smiled.

"You want to go for dinner tonight?" he said it in a tone light enough for them to believe he wasn't angry.

He took her hand and brought it to his lips. Pietro didn't want to waste her sudden good sprit. Plus it would be a less treating setting for the two of them to fully discuss what had happen, what Pietro really saw and plans they need to take for Rogue to stay on the straight and narrow. But more seriously he was denial about Rogue and Remy's relationship; he didn't want to face the possibility of losing her.

Rogue nodded her head to his question "Chinese?" Pietro asked.

"Cajun, I'm craving crawfish." Rogue told him and she leaned in to kiss his lips.

"Ah Ok…" Pietro gave her a quick peck on the cheek instead. It was a strange request there wasn't a southern restaurant for miles.

He need to talk to the Storm immediately "I have to go over the lesson plan with Storm" He said. "I'll see you later…" He took off in a hurry.

The smell of the water attracted Rogue closer to the edge. Stepping closer to the cliff a rock hit Rogue's shoe bending down to pick it up Rogue balled it in her hand. It would have turned to sand if Rogue applied anymore pressure. She chucked it into the water as hard as she physically could. "Ahhh" She screamed in frustration grabbing another. She began to throw any and all rocks she found near her. Finding a huge stone she picked it up and gave it a good shot before slipping upon the release Rogue fell face first into the dirt.

"Ahhhhuhh" She cried out as her hand ripped out the grass her hands landed on. She squealed and the tears started to run down her dirty face. The more Rogue cried the more she pounded her fits into the ground out of anger.

Coming down from her tantrum Rogue sat up dangling her legs off the edge. She needed to scream and cut close all the negative vibes that was building up in her. She wiped off her face making it filthier. Rogue sighed in anguish she tossed pebbles into the water but not as hard "Remy…" She sighed as she tossed the last stone.

"What is my chere?" He sat down next to her.

Remy had been sitting in willow tree that surrounded the cliff edge he had been watching Rogue by the cliff for hours. He was only waiting for the right moment to embrace her he finally made his move when Rogue was had semi-calmed down.

Remy dragged her to his side where Rogue rested her head on her chest. Remy had been back for a couple of days and already Rogue was losing her mind. Forgetting what the pass two years was like. Morally she shouldn't have Remy and by all laws she didn't deserve him. Not having Remy was to be her punishment for all her pass crimes. She knew that but the instant Remy was near her, he was her drug of choice again.

"I don't deserve you Remy." Rogue got off him and brushed back her disheveled hair.

"You deserve more then me…" Remy went into kiss Rogue. Rogue darted up her hand as a reaction blocking her lips. "Rogue…" It sounded like lyrical coming from Remy voice.

Something snapped in Rogue she couldn't handle it her soul felt like it was ripping out her body. She dragged off her gloves and exposing her scars "This one reminds me of Pyro when I sucked him dry because he told my mom I wanted a new life." She showed him her wrist "This reminds me of is when I blew up central station…I don't even know…." Rogue wiped a tear "The bank in Montreal…that kid oh my gosh." She put her hand over her mouth in shame after showing individual scars.

Remy wasn't there for all of Rogue incidences but the last one he remembered it was Rogue's breaking point. "Cher if I could…" Remy reached out for her.

Rogue brushed his hand away she knew what he was going to say, she couldn't risk hearing that. Rogue pulled back her hair completely showing her forehead and temple. "This is when I went back looking for you in the rubble…I thought I heard your voice…" It was the first time Remy couldn't face Rogue he simply stared at her hands and the scars he left her with.

"You can't be here I can't handle all of this, I need sometime to think." Rogue looked at Remy with teary eyes and for once Remy looked the same way. He didn't understand how he could possibly be hurting when he wanted nothing else then to be with her.

"I'm not leaving again…" Remy had to face the impossible when he left Rogue, he couldn't bare to do it again. He wouldn't.

Rogue sat staring at Remy in disbelief; she was speechless to see that Remy was pain too. That's what she was trying to avoid.

"Fine then I will."

Rogue got up and ran for the house never looking back even when Remy called out for her. Rogue stayed stone cold to hearing his voice. She needed time to sort out her thoughts, she need to have a shower…


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: **Think about it

Rogue avoided Remy at all cost since their cliff meeting. It was hard enough seeing him in her dreams and hearing him in her head but seeing him walk around was brutal. Her plan was to make Remy hate her and she was failing miserably for the past week. Nothing she did could upset Remy she would leave when he came around, accidently hurt or spill something on him openly bash him but nothing was working. Rogue hadn't tried that hard but she thought she did, mostly she would shut down when she was around Remy and just thinking that her non responsive behavior was hurting him. She was convinced by her lies too well, any and everything had a fifty fifty chance or being real.

Rogue's room had become her safe haven; she isolated herself there as much as possible. It was getting hard to stay in that small room knowing that Remy was out there longing for her. At night she could feel his warm breath on her neck as she slept. Sometimes she could sense his eyes outside her window watching her. Coming out the shower once Rogue swore she saw Remy in her mirror reflection. All in all she was on the borderline of sanity not knowing if Remy was really there or if she was just hoping he would be. It wasn't the first time she imagined him, there was nights when Pietro would lay with her and she would think that it was Remy, it had been happening more frequently in their relationship.

Pietro was torn, he didn't know were he stood with Rogue anymore. She said she loved him they would attempt to spend sometime together but she wasn't always there emotionally. So many time Pietro would stop talking or walking and Rogue wouldn't notice, she would stare ahead with lifeless eyes.

Pietro knew it would be difficult for Rogue to adjust having Remy back but never did he think that she would fall apart again. Naturally he did the typical things around Remy; show his affection with Rogue, give him dirty glares, and threatening him. He didn't want to loose Rogue and it hurt him to know the woman he loved was slipping away and he couldn't do anything to help her more.

Remy wasn't budging and it only infuriated Pietro more. Remy wasn't giving up and even with the hostile environment he stood strong, he didn't understand why he was the bad guy all of a sudden. After all he was the one that just rose from the dead.

Each day Remy would put a flower by Rogue's door with a card that said 'for as long as it takes.' Monday it was an orchid, Tuesday a tulip, Wednesday a lily and it went and so it carried on. He would do this routine in the early morning before anyone was awake. It was Thursday and Remy was at Rogue's door placing a crocus and his signature card on the floor in front of her door.

'Eeeeppprrpp.'

Rogue door squeaked opened.

Remy paused for a minute and when there wasn't any harsh yelling and the door didn't slam close he wished for a single moment with no interruption. Slowly moving to stand Remy ran his eyes up Rogue mile long legs. Having his hands trace the patterns which his eyes made as he worked his way up her body, he slid his hands up her thighs and over her behind to the curve of her back. It was the first time they've been alone in over a week. Remy pulled her into his chest, resting his forehead on hers. It was the perfect moment to speak but why risk their time together?

Their noses rubbed together as their lips gravitated closer together. Their lips barley making contact the first kiss was so faint. It wasn't enough for Rogue taking Remy's hand she led him inside. Remy placed the crocus on the nightstand with rest of his flowers he sent. He turned to see Rogue seated on the bed. She had a puppy dog look on but her eyes were that of a vixen. Standing to met Remy she put her hand under his shirt caressing his defined abs and his toned chest. She removed it and she just watched him, his body looked amazing in the rising sun. She dotted kisses on his upper chest and his collar bone. Remy liked the way Rogue was taking control. He was about to speak when Rogue's warm hands slid down his boxers teasing him. A tremor ran threw his body and he attacked Rogues sweet lips.

Parting her mouth Remy slid his tongue into her mouth devouring her, their tongues roamed each others mouth dancing together and Remy pulled Rogue deeper into him. He loved kissing her Rogue was like a peppermint candy all to himself. He gripped tighter on Rogue's ass out of excitement pulling down her boy shorts. Rogue pulled Remy crashing into the bed holding him to her lips by his hair. She slid her hands down his arms they always made her feel safe. The sensation of her nails grinding into his skin was a blissful delight to Remy. He groaned in thrill and pinned her down. He kissed her neck using his tongue to make smooth patterns down her skin. Rogue arched her back so Remy could take off the oversized t-shirt she had on. Rogue wasn't wearing a bra and when Remy saw her glorious breasts his grin only got wider, he missed those two well shaped curves of joy. He kissed one breast swirling his tongue around her nipple while his next hand massaged the other breast. He switched back and forth adding his teeth to stimulate her. Rogue cried out in pleasure she flinched as the sensation echoed down her body. Remy's kisses trailed down to her sensitive panty line. Dragging his fingers over the tingly skin of her inner thigh he kissed her soft burning womanhood and slid his fingers down circling her core.

"Shaha…" Rogue's whole upper body when numb as she shot up and stared down at Remy, it had been years since she was touched like that Remy could always bring out the worse in Rogue. She wrapped her legs around Remy and grinned against him pulling herself up to Remy's ear. "I want it all Remy…" She rolled her hips against Remy's stone hard shaft. He was bulging out of his sweat pants. Rogue used her feet and quickly pushed Remy sweats off feeling him hard against her. Remy tackled her lips and slid Rogue up and down his bare shaft. She dropped her head groaning in pleasure anxious she flipped them so she was on top.

"Stop teasing…" She slid herself onto his thick member. Rogue rocked back and forth on his member planting her hands on his chest she grooved faster sliding further onto him she grinned her hips at an exhilarating speed. "Hmmmhmmm" she moaned. Remy sat up and took hold of her hips he rocked Rogue feeling her wet core around him, he bite Rogue's lips kissing her hard injecting his tongue in mouth. Rogue crossed her legs around him. Bumping up and down in Remy's lap, his paces quickened at her demand making her dig her nails further into his neck. This only encouraged Remy to swarm in her, he watching her breast bounce in front of him it was his blissful heaven. Rogue's body was scorching her walls were trembling and her heart was racing. Rogue closed her eyes tightly she was going to erupt with pleasure each breath allowed more moans to escape from her. "Ohhmmmm…." Rogue saw the warning in Remy's eyes.

"It's ok." She reassured him.

Remy grabbing Rogue squeezed her thighs shoving her harder into him they bucked franticly with sweat dripping down her face. They swam in desire until Rogue bite down into Remy's shoulder her orgasm crept up on her starting low then exploding vibrating throughout her whole body. Rogue panted still thrusting into Remy's body her eyes rolled back and her mind went completely bank. Remy was basking in her pleasure Rogue pulled Remy's wet hair whispering dirty thoughts into his ears. He crossed the edge in a dramatic finish falling backwards with Rogue on top of him.

They rested for less then five minutes and then Rogue came off Remy and rolled onto her side. "I'm starting to think you're just using me chere?" Remy joked trying to catch his breath.

There was a long pause and Rogue sat up in a serious manner, her wet hair framing her face and lushes breast. "…That's because I am…"

"What?" Remy didn't hear that extra bubble in her voice he wished for.

"Would you do anything for me?"

Rogue brought her legs close to her chest. And looked at her with that same cold stare she'd been giving him the whole week.

"How could you ask that of course I would?"

Their track history proved that they would go to extremes for one another. For Rogue to question that Remy knew that something was definitely wrong.

"…I need you to leave not just me but here too."

"Rogue…" Remy smoothly stroked her outer thigh with his finger.

"You don't know what you're doing to me Remy since you got back all I wanted was to get drunk and worse…" She looked at him rubbing his scruff. "I get mixed up in you and feel this mesmerizing high that it's so hard to explain…. But coming down I feel disgusted with myself I don't think."

"Why would you destroy something that brought you happiness, you're not the only one that feels a high Rogue…."

"Cause life isn't a high it can't be a high for me anymore, this isn't love Remy."

"It is for me…" They turned so that they facing each other head on.

"You promise that you would never say those words to me…Now everything is going to change."

Rogue hugged her form. Saying I love you was the sign of death for Rogue she never saw anything good come from it, those words only hurt her in the pass.

Remy held her hands and waited until she looked at him in the eyes "Let's leave this place Rogue it's destroying us. Let's go back to when nothing or no one held us back."

"I don't know what to say to that…you know long it took me to move on to become independent again… sober."

Rogue was balling it suddenly just came on and there it was again that sincere pain in Remy eyes. It wasn't helping the situation he was showing pure heartbreak. It burned Rogue's heart. Is that what she wanted?

"I want to have future with you Rogue be free again, I only feel free when I'm with you and I thought I did that for you too…." Remy reached forward to wipe her tears.

"I'm not free Remy they're still in here" she tapped her temple. Remy swept her hair behind her ear and went over the scar his scar he left her with.

"I'm here Rogue isn't that worth anything? You let me in before and we were happy didn't you like that." Rogue cringed and Remy lifted her face "We had good times just you and me? Don't you want that?"

Rogue was at lost, things were not going as planed it was never suppose to be that hard. Remy should have moved on along time ago…

"Remy, Pietro is meeting me…" Rogue watched the clock behind him hoping to change the topic.

"We can leave just pick up and go…" Remy wasn't letting her change the subject.

"You're not getting it…"

"Yes I am…" Remy insisted as Pietro knocked at the door.

"He's here" her eyes grew wide in horror "Get out threw the window…" she jumped out of the bed and opened the window for Remy. "Remy get dressed!" she hustled to get the oversized shirt on herself.

'Knock Knock' "Rogue you in there?"

Remy put on his sweats and left his shirt on the floor. Rogue was too busy shoving him out the window to notice. "Rogue you awake?!" Pietro asked still going at the door. Rogue almost had Remy out the window when he froze.

"Remy!" She grunted behind her teeth.

"I shouldn't have to be climbing in and out of a window to see you I should have you. Meet me at the cliff we finish talking, leave even…"

"Ok…Ok" She closed the window in time to see Pietro enter her room. It didn't click to what she just agreed too.

"Rogue you weren't answering I thought…"

Pietro looked at Rogue's uncollected sweaty body. "What's up?" He pointed at the bed and her flushed skin. Rogue noticed the green army shirt on the floor and kicked it as she approached her bed, forcing it under her bed.

"Did you get in early workout without me?"

Rogue cleared her throat and picked up a dirty pair of joggers off the floor.

"Yeah workout…"she quickly put her hair in a pony tail "ready to go?"

"Ah yeah Lorna is coming with us that's ok right?"

"Hmmmhmm sure…"

Rogue plastered on a fake smile. She was good at faking happiness, she had been doing a lot of that pretending. What she wanted to do right then was take a long shower…


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**How does it feel?

Rogue sat on the back porch with her feet up puffing on one of Logan's cigars. The sun's warm rays pressed down on her semi covered body. For anyone else it would have been a beautiful day but for Rogue she was pressed with a decision. Meeting Remy at the cliff didn't seem that complex, but there was a hidden meaning in his words. Remy wasn't joking when he said things and 'leave even' it meant you choose me and our old life permanently. There wasn't any going back to an old life, it was time Rogue paid for her crimes and that meant not enjoying all the pleasure she once had.

Making circles of smoke in the air Rogue sighed just when she thought life wasn't going to be so difficult it threw her a curve ball from nowhere.

"How many of those have you had?" a blue eyed goddess took a seat next to Rogue.

"First one" Rogue pointed to her water bottle to reassure Storm that she wasn't doing anything she shouldn't.

Any form of addictive behavior from Rogue and Storm was on it, confronting it head on. Remy and Storm were great friend and affectionate companions but she loved him like no other. Helping Rogue made Storm feel that she was doing right by Remy in what was his memory.

"You ok?"

She was sizing up Rogue to see if she was going to tell the truth, Remy had already confided in her and she knew of the situation the two lovers faced. Rogue raised her bottle and tilted her head at the loaded question.

"No your not" Storm picked up a cigar and lit it. "You're conflicted. You want to be with him but you're scared that it will all happen again." She took a little puff; Storm was in no way a smoker.

Rogue cocked at her eyebrow she hated that Storm always knew what she was thinking especially when it came to Remy.

"Yeah…"

"But you also believe that you don't deserve him because of the choice you made and actions from your past."

Rogue shook her head in disbelief and put down her cigar to sit up and get a good view of Storm's face "Seriously…How do you do that? I mean you get it every time." Rogue could never comprehend Storms advanced knowledge about life.

Storm chuckled while fiddling with her cigar "You can't let your past dictate your future love you can only learn from it."

Storm was speaking from past experience; she got that misty look in her eyes and that smug smile Rogue had only seen a dozen times.

"How do you feel now?" Storm looked at Rogue.

"Honestly sore." Rogue nodded her head smiling at her own joke. Storm looked back at her with an impressed smile.

"I knew you couldn't hold out." Storm shuffled her chair closer to Rogue wanting all the details. "Last night?" she questioned.

Rogue sighed in slight embarrassment "This morning actually." Storm laughed and hit Rogue playfully on her arm giving her approval.

"That isn't the face I would have on if I was with Remy in the early morning…"

"I told him to leave not just right after but for good, there wasn't much time to bask in the glory."

"Are you stronger since you told him that? Do you feel better? You love him any less?" Each question made Rogue's stomach knot.

"It ripped my heart in two. When I knew that Mystique was apart of the setup, if I ever find her…."

Rogue hid her glove in her hand angrily when she thought about what happened with Remy in Sinster's lab. The reason Rogue and Remy were dragged into the Sinister's mess was because of Mystique. Rogue never knew that until she chose her so called mother over Remy. By then it was too late to do anything Mystique had already left the hospital when Rogue went to confront her.

"If I cared for him as much I calmed then why didn't I choose him?"

Storm held Rogue's hand as she let out the issues that tormented her dreams "I don't deserve him Storm I hate saying it but it's true. I feel... I don't feel when touches me." She looked up to the sky trying to prevent the tears forming "Even when I personally told him that I was the cause of his death that I let him go…he…"

"He what Rogue?"

"He kissed me" Rogue touched her lips remembering his silk like lips caressing her "Like nothing had changed…."

"How can he love me knowing what I did?" Rogue faced Strom for answers "I killed him." She said each would bluntly.

"And now it's killing you sweetie." Storm said it head on she didn't bother to beat around the bush. "What if he let go would you still feel the same?"

"I haven't thought of that possibility why would he let go?"

"I'm just saying it seems like he wants to move on what would do in his place?"

Storm rested her head back on her seat giving her last bit of wisdom. "Rogue you have to leave this spot that you are in whether that's with Remy or not. This is consuming you…again."

"I know. I know. Where do I go Storm? What can I do?"

"Working on this wasn't going to be easy and either way you have hurdles to pass with Remy and Pietro. Both of them have and will be a major influence in your life."

Storm picked up the cigar and passed Rogue her own twirling potentially addictive substance in her face. "This won't give you answers you want to move pass everything or numb the pain? It is time to decide…"

"I don't know what path to take but I'm done with pain." Rogue lips laid flat and stiff with confusion. "I need to think things over and make a choice?"

"Rogue…" Storm stood as she was leaving and Rogue turned back at the door. She wasn't happy with the way Rogue made that quick decision.

"Not having him is a punishment but it's also really deprival it's just another way to numb the pain you can't keep flipping your choice you don't deserve it and neither do they."

Rogue knew exactly to whom 'they' Storm was referring too. It was Storms nice way of saying stop jerking Remy around and doing something about it. Rogue simmered on her thoughts and Storm's words or wisdom. She passed Logan on the way inside at the siding doors.

"Hey kid how was your work out?"

He questioned. From his smirk Rogue took it that he was on rounds and saw or smelled more then what he bargained for. Rogue brushed him off and walked away not giving the question any thought. Logan continued to the deck where Storm was relaxing.

"I didn't see you this morning? Professor called you in?"

"Yeah for some removal services." Logan's grin only fated what he saw was Ororo was doing.

"I've been wondering whose been stealing my cigars they aren't cheap."

Storm giggled at Logan's gruff voice.

"You just lit it and let it burn!?" He was appalled by her treatment at his hand made cigars.

Storm turned from the railing to Logan "I enjoy the smell it reminds me of a guy I used to know." She gave him a coy smile before she flew away.

* * *

Remy was on his way upstairs, his session with the professor had finished moments before. His intensions were to start packing the night had arrived and nothing or no one was going to stop him from having her this time. Remy wished for a brief minute where he could have Rogue in his arms away from any distractions that made her think, this is were she belonged. He was close in the bed room but fell short when her current boyfriend showed up.

Pietro was coming down the opposite end of the hall when he saw Remy coming down the hall towards him. Pietro hated Remy more the mutant registration act. It killed him to see Remy act calmly, when he was doing more damage then good to Rogue. He had kept his tongue for so long because of Rogue but since her isolation from the general pubic it hasn't been the same between them. Even when Pietro was in her embrace caressing her, he wasn't sure which one of them Rogue was dreaming about. What he did know was that it was going to stop that very night. No matter what it was going to take he wasn't going to lose to Remy.

"Gambit." Pietro speed over.

Remy rolled his eyes at the minor set back he was in no mood. "Move it energizer bunny I got plans."

"I'm sure you do." Pietro shoved him into the wall. "It ends tonight Cajun."

Remy coolly stood to his feet dusting off his jacket. "You know it does…" he smirked the mire sight of that cocky grin made Pietro lose all reason.

Remy tried to move but Pietro was swift to put his hand out "I don't think you understand how much I love her think about her!"

There was a sigh and a eye roll from Remy "You're really going to try and fight me about this?" he half laughed at the ideal.

"No… now I'm going to kick the living shit out of you…"

Remy flipped back onto a side table in the hall, fingering four cards. "When ever you're ready winkle toes…"

Loving a woman can make a man do crazy things…

* * *

Rogue was a façade. Her life, her personality, it was all transparent now, she had lost herself way back.

Since the incident she had lost meaning of who she was. For the now she was who ever people needed her to be. If she was expected to be the group leader she was a shinning star. A void in volunteering would be quickly filled by her high sprits. The loving girlfriend face always came out for pubic appearances with Pietro.

Telling the truth no one could ever map out her thoughts or find a pattern in her behavior. So when she smiled and told Storm she needed nothing more then sometime to think Rogue was saying I need to get to my washroom. Rogue had been scouring in her washroom countless times, since Remy had arrived and no one thought much of it. Leaving Logan behind Rogue bolted upstairs, knocking people over and stumbling all the way.

Inside Rogue's washroom under the sink hidden behind old cleaning bottles shampoo containers and other feminine items was an old traveling size thermos. The thermos was hidden well carrying peruses cargo, vodka.

Rogue hadn't touched it since she had been sober at most she would take it out look at it smell it at times. Just to know she was stronger and that she didn't need it to function. Being able to stand up to the bottle was like facing herself and accepting her pass and for the last ten months she was in control of her own future. That day it was a different story she hadn't touched it yet but it sat on her counter top, she eyed it tempted more by the black and gray canister then a dance with the devil in pail moon light.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: **Willow Tree

The time had come to face it all.

The moon shone bright in the clear starry night sky. It was a perfect midnight blue sky and the wind was a hollow and low it was cool enough for a sweatshirt but warm enough to stay out all night. Which Remy felt that he had been doing forever; if it wasn't for the beautiful sky he would have been less then pleasant.

It reminded him of the south as a child but more importantly it reminded him of the night he discovered that he was in love with Rogue. Due to her past insecurities Rogue made it clear that she would never say I love you and wouldn't except it from anyone, determined that the relationship would change forever. Remy only loved her more because of it, but he promised he would never say those words for her sake.

Remy waited by the cliff under the willow tree as he promised he would. The arrangement was that he and Rogue would meet up to discuss the troubles that blocked their relationship from continuing where it once was. It was perfect except Rogue was missing. He continued to wait and wait until it was minutes to daybreak and the sun was peaking over the cliff. The warm pink and mellow yellows that blended with the blues warmed Remy's weary heart giving him precious hope. Being a man of his word Remy wasn't willing to move from the cliff not until the sun was fully up. He just wanted a sign to know that she was thinking of him too.

Rogue stood at her bedroom window watching Remy by the willow tree, standing in on his army shirt and pair of tracks. She looked over at the busied and cut body in her bed, he didn't cause the same feeling anymore…

'bbbbzzzzzz' Remy looked down at his pocket 'bbbbzzzzz' he flipped opened his phone expecting the worse.

"Remy I don't expect you to forgive me, because I can't even forgive myself. This love isn't ever going to be the same. I can't have you here anymore and I know it's cowardly of me to do this, like this but I couldn't risk watching you walk away I don't know what I would have done…."

Remy had always prepared for the worse in any situation but feeling it to that magnitude, there was no preparation for. He walked to the edge of the cliff and removed the velvet box from his pocket. He charged it to a burning fuchsia and threw it as hard and far as he could. Watching the box explode over the open water Remy felt only a cold tingly feeling on his face.

He couldn't believe it but it happened, not willing to breakdown in the moment he brushed away his tears and took out a smoke backing away from the edge.

By not even having the decency to show up proved to him that he had lost the battle. He had been replaced Remy was no longer needed. He got that Rogue was trying to reject him for the past few weeks but he sincerely believed that if he could get her in a secluded place without that awkward sexual tension, that they both felt when they first met, then they could have worked things out. Perhaps the old Remy would have fought harder; maybe he was trying too hard to be the old Remy or maybe the past just needed to stay in the past?

Watching Remy walk away felt like a thousand mini knives piercing different parts of her body. 'He swore he would wait until sunrise' She told herself repeatedly before she knew it Rogue was tripping over her bag to get the thermos of vodka, within seconds the cold canister was running across her lips. It wasn't until she heard Remy's bike pull out of the garage that the burning cold liquor ran down her throat.


	7. Chapter 7

**Epilogue**

It was a cold day. The sky was thick with gray clouds and rain dripped softly from the sky. The mansion was gravely silent, there weren't many lights on, no laughter echoing the halls, there wasn't many people walking about.

No one was in high sprits.

It was painfully quiet else where but her mind, somberly she hummed to herself while singing the lyrics mentally. _**I'm thinking that it's time to get out, my patients**__**are fading fast the mind bruises just a little bit easier Dark times and shadows cast…**_

The tinkering of the rain drops on the window was numbing as the shadows clawed at the wall. The office of the Professor Charles Xavier housed worried and frightened faces. Charles sat behind his desk as still as a statue. While Storm leaned on the Professors desk with her arm crossed, she stared forward lifelessly a ghost of her former self, she had nothing to say.

_**Panic holds me like a gun firm and steadfast bleak and cold I think its time to kill the drama this life style's getting old…**_

Logan sat in the single leather cracking his knuckles, anytime he tried to speak up a lump would lodge in his throat, for once Logan couldn't find words. It was a first, making the issue was all the more serious.

_**Faces threaten from behind closed **__**doors**__** eyes spy from dark **__**windows**__** plotting minds that seek to harm me, or maybe not I don't really know…**_

Kurt was crunched up on the fireplace mantel. His tail coiling out of tension, his heart pumped to the beat of the clock next him as nerves started to get to him. The sorrow that ate at his heart made watered form in his eyes, he was at a loss.

_**There is something waiting for me in the darkest part of my imagination….**_

They sat in dimmed light, watching her silhouette outlined by the flashes of lighting and deafening cracks of thunder. Rogue filled her lungs with the tick muggy air searching for the strength, the sudden increase of pressure made her body whimper. It was her turn to speak and all eyes waited on her.

_**This is just self-induced terror theres more to come this is just a glimpse I tell myself that it's all in my head but I'm pretty hard to convince…**_

She rested on the window sill with her forehead against the window like he used to do with her, but he's gone even though he made a promised and left regardless.

_**What are you suffering for? Your pride or some kind of personal war? And when you throw it away .For nothing more than a simple taste…**_

It was an internal decision for Rogue to put his vague memory in a dark part of her thoughts, never to see them or feel them again at any cost. They had hurt each other for the last time. Everyday she brutalized herself for not trusting her conscious from the beginning and stayed away.

_**Oh, there's no **__**relief**__**, this world can offer, there's no relief, this world can offer me…**_

Rogue had new things to consider, she was on the second part of her confession. Moments before she had told her support staff that after her eleven months of being sober, she had a drink. It didn't end there, but the second part of the story had more depth and she struggled to find a way to relinquish the news.

_**I'll stay in time and watch you pass by… paranoia woven deep beneath my skin breath slow…**_

"Rogue!" Pietro was late but found himself in a joyful mood. He sped over from the door to Rogue taking a seat next to her on the window ledge.

_**Breath slow…**_

He had the biggest smile on his face as he held her hand in his own. "I love you so much." His blue eyes brought much needed passion to the depressing room.

_**Breath slow…**_

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

_**Breath slow…**_

He rubbed her hand going over the newly placed two carat ring on her finger. He kissed her cheek as she turned to see the others expressions, praying that they figured it out without her having to say it aloud.

"How far along?" He asked blocking out the any thought of other people in the office with the letter in and proud smile.

_**I draw this line and hope you'll take my side…**_

Rogue gave a small smile as Pietro held the letter from the doctors. He was overdone with joy wrapping her up in his arms. The paper he held slipped from his shaking fingers as Rogue forced herself to embrace him back.

_**You shouldn't have to fight alone it's nobody's battle but your own…**_

A small three inch piece of photo paper landed in the middle of the office rug for all to see. The burry black and white imagine held everyone's breath as they all leaned to get a clear look.

***** Lyrics by Alexisonfire from To a Friend. This story was dedicated to a close friend whose life I find is reflected in lyrics of this song perfectly. They are the inspiration for the whole story. ****** I wish the best for you** xoxoxo (Sweet candy I believe that was a question of yours.)**

**This concludes Part II- Black.**


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